Thursday April 26, 2007 9:56 PM

Remember how I said last week that Jim needed to go to the dentist? He wouldn't let me make an appointment for him. On Monday his therapist called while she had Jim in front of her and said, "Can you please schedule a dentist appointment for your other son? The swelling in his face is interfering with his progress." So I got him in to see Dr. Drain the next day and she prescribed some Clindamycin for him. She told him to try it for seven days. So far it's not helping much. In the meantime the dentist also gave me the name of a new maxofacial surgeon so Jim can start the process of getting his teeth pulled and implants put in all over again. We were all set to go with it last summer but had to hold off because of the wacky symptoms Jim was having under anesthesia. And now our dental insurance has changed so his old surgeon is no longer in our network. I would have looked for another surgeon earlier but we were a little busy, don't you think? We know now that the reason Jim's vitals went crazy while the surgeon was trying to pull his teeth was because the dentist was manipulating his neck, and the tumor with it, when he put Jim's head back.

So now when Jim sees the therapist she opens her notebook and says, "So what new food have you tried THIS week?" He told her he tried ice cream and it went down o.k. So she got him some yogurt to try to take a look at his swallow. It's much better, but still not normal. He told her he tried half a snickerdoodle cookie because it was nice and soft. (I suspected this because I noticed half a cookie laying in the box and I knew I hadn't done that, and Jimmy hadn't done that, so who's left?) She suggested if he's going to try a cookie to make it a hard cookie because he'll have an easier time getting that down. He's also started to swallow some of his pills instead of crushing them and putting them in the feeding tube. I'm a little worried because he hasn't been cleared by the doctor to do ANY of this, but I can't argue. I know I'd be doing the same thing. But it was a little depressing this weekend because the weather was warm and some of the neighbors were barbequeing...and we can't do that. I wouldn't think of torturing Jim with the smell of grilling steak.

Jim's been set back a little, though, because of this latest abcess. Since his cheek is puffy along the side where he had the surgery his speech has slid backwards a little and it's more difficult for him to work the swallow muscles.

But that Lexapro is definitely doing the trick because he actually LAUGHS sometimes now. I never thought I'd see that again. Upping his dosage to 20 mg a day was the right decision. I actually got Jim to play ball with Jimmy in the yard...TWICE! Now that's a feat.

Next week he and I both meet our new shrinks. It took me over a month to get those appointments, so I'm really hoping we like these guys. The receptionist wouldn't let us schedule with the same shrink...we could go at the same time but had to have different doctors. I wanted to say, "Hey lady....our problems have nothing to do with our marriage. That's the LEAST of our issues," but WHATEVER. I need to have a local person here for my bipolar meds and he needs someone to work with him on his depression. What a pair we are. But someone said to me a couple of weeks ago that it's better to be someone who's on something than someone who NEEDS to be on something. That's one of the truest statements I've ever heard.

Sunday April 22, 2007 11:08 AM

So what's been new this week? Jim's really sucking down those Boost shakes. Boost was on sale at CVS so that's what I got. I asked him if the therapist can send him for another swallow study so we can finally get a doctor's blessing on him doing this, but Beth (the therapist) said he has to attend 14 sessions first. Beth taught him how to do his Mendelsohn Maneuver. This involves holding up the Adam's apple for a period of time and then letting it go. She says he's making great progress and he's come a long way but the swallow is still not normal. I have to keep stopping Jim from going too far with his drinking experimentation. He admitted this week to trying some of the meat from a sub that I brought home. Today he's talking about trying ice cream. I warned him...if you can't get that down just SPIT IT OUT! Then he wanted to try swallowing his pills. NO WAY I told him. Can you imagine your next bronchoscopy? They'll be pulling out pills, Boost shakes, italian ice, an old shoe, the kitchen sink, etc. PACE YOURSELF and BE CAREFUL!

As for me, I think my lupus might be starting to flare. It's probably the stress. My left foot is killing me right along the bone that I broke 12 years ago, and both my knees were killing me yesterday but this morning that's gone. That Lupus' modus operandi- at least for me over the years. One day it would be the left elbow, then the right knee, then the left foot, etc., etc. Every day was a new adventure. But I really never let it bother me too much. I'd laugh about it and say, "Look what an old lady I am!" and keep going. So bring it on...I can take it. I've got to go out and weed the flower beds in front of the house today so I don't have time for this stuff. At least now if it hits my digestive system I have the drugs to counteract it.

And speaking of being an old lady....I went up to Princeton on Friday and when I got home I'm looking at the mail that Jim brought in. He starts yelling (well, as loud as he can yell) "Don't read it! Don't read it!" and I don't know what he's talking about. Well, he was talking about THIS from Reunions Unlimited, addressed to me of course..."We're all getting ready for a gala twenty-five year reunion on November 3, 2007." Twenty-five years? Let me crawl under a rock now.

Jim's spirits are brightening, and he's doing some chores around the house. Thank God because I can't do it all. I've got to get Jim out to get some excercise. He wasn't one to do excercise when he was healthy, so it's going to be even more difficult now. But I think it sunk in to him how much he needs it because he and Jimmy were wrestling this morning and Jim realized that Jimmy could easily get the better of him. When a six-year-old can kick your ass it's time to get yourself back in shape.