Awhile back I had mentioned that my ex-brother-in-law had lung cancer. My ex was telling me that he thought his sister could probably relate to what I was going through, and I told him that even though Jim and I had been through hell, I'd still rather be me right now because at least Jim didn't have cancer. Well, that brother-in-law died on the 15th. Greg called me the next day, Friday the 16th, and let me know. At first I thought I'd just send his sister a letter offering my condolences because I was afraid her family might shoot daggers at me if I went to the wake, but then I thought about it some more. Those people were family to me for sixteen years. I remember when George first dated Karen. I was at their wedding. It was their tainted meatballs they fed us on Christmas Day in 1996 that made my stomach problems flare up for two years after I got over the food poisoning. I decided to go and pay my respects in person, even if I got beat up. I decided to take Jimmy with me. The Venezia's wouldn't be rude to me if I had a six-year-old in tow. Besides, it's about time Jimmy got acclimated to a wake. By the time I was his age I was old hat at them. I told Jimmy exactly what to expect, and I showed him pictures of George. Jimmy said, "I don't want to see a coffin!" and I told him it's like a piece of furniture. Just think of it as a coffee table. It's like the body's put into a very expensive coffee table. A very, very expensive coffee table.
Jim decided to come. He and Greg chat it up like old buddies whenever they're together anyway...the common thread they have is telling wacky stories about my mother. I had Jim try on one of his old suits to see if he could get away with wearing it. NO WAY. He could have fit two of him in there. So I ran out to Kohls to buy him a couple of sport jackets and pants. He likes to wear sport jackets to work now to cover up how thin he is. Last Sunday we went to George's wake. A couple of people shot daggers at me, but most were very nice and were glad that I came. As I was standing in the hallway at one point, Jim says to me, "Turn around..." What? I said. Is there something on the back of my coat? And he said, "I just wanted to check if you had any knives sticking out of your back..." Ha ha ha. But I couldn't help but think about the parallels between Jim and George. How easily it could have been ME up front by the coffin. And it's not. There but for the grace of God go I.
On Wednesday I finally got my own bloodwork done. Dr. Barb needs to check my Trileptal levels to make sure the drug is working. He's also doing the basics...CBC and what-not. And he's checking my glucose levels to make sure I'm not diabetic. I also picked up the pee-pee jar for Jimmy's test.
Thanksgiving we went to my mother-in-law's. She always does Thanksgiving and I do Christmas. On the way over in the truck I had a panic attack. I was fine, and then all of a sudden I was feeling nauseous, my hands were shaking, and I felt light-headed. I popped a Xanax and made Jim pull over so I could lay down in the back of the truck. By the time we got there I felt better, but then the in-laws started pumping me with wine, so I was high as a kite. I slept REALLY good that night.
Friday Jimmy went to Dr. Rothman....the doctor my mother works for part-time, for a cognitive test. Dr. Rothman had noticed some "signs of inattentiveness" in Jimmy when he gave him his eye exam, hence his request to do these tests. Inattentiveness? Ha ha ha....not my Jimmy. There was one test where Dr. Rothman did three motions with his hands onto the tabletop in combinations of four moves...one closed fist, one open hand with palm down, one with hand upright on it's side. You had to watch what he did and then repeat it...kind of like the game of Simon but without the musical notes. Jimmy did horribly on that one, but I noticed something...I couldn't do it either. By the time Dr. Rothman got to the last move I had forgotten the first two. It was actually uncomfortable for me to watch the doctor. My mind just wanted to shut down...STOP...STOP...I can't take it anymore! I do really well with remembering verbal queues...for all-state chorus auditions when I was in high school they'd play you 16 random bars of music and you had to repeat it as perfectly as you could, and in perfect pitch...and THAT I aced, but the visual? Forget about it. So if this test was some measure of Jimmy possibly having ADHD then I know where he probably got it from. Maybe this is why I work better when I talk to myself. It's so much better that I work from home now. I can chat it up all the time and no one is there to stare at me like I'm nuts. Dr. Rothman is going to score the tests and then call me this week with the results.
Saturday I had Jimmy pee in his pee-pee jar all day. He only went twice on Saturday so that wasn't hard. The preservative that they put in the jar before the give it to you to take home made the urine smell DISGUSTING! Jim and Jimmy and I were gagging, and Jim ran around lighting candles to get rid of the stench. We have to store it in the refrigerator (good thing we have one in the garage) and then I have to drop the jar off at the lab sometime tomorrow.
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