Wenesday March 21, 2007 9:35 PM

Couldn't sleep AGAIN lsst night, so I had to pop a valium. I normally never have a problem sleeping....I could sleep on the headboard at home, but I guess it's all the stress.

They wound up not putting in Jim's stomach feeding tube today. Part of it was a paperwork screw-up in the way the order was written, but he's definitely having it done tomorrow. Then the nurse will show us how to use it. I told him to call me as soon as they get there to give the instructions and I'll run right over.

I got Jim set up with a center near our house that does this Vital Stim therapy. This is supposed to provide quick results. It involves placing electrodes on your neck to get the muscles and nerves stimulated again. I'm confident he'll make progress. After all, if he was able to swallow after surgery number two then he can't have any kind of permanent damage. And right now he's at a good weight for his height (he really needed to lose 20 lbs before he went for the surgery, so it's a good thing I made him fat beforehand or he'd look like a concentration camp victim right now) but if he continues to lose weight I've got to ask if there's any way I can pump some fattening stuff into that feeding tube. Like a milk shake. He won't taste it, but at least he'll keep his weight up.

So I went to see the voice pathologist today and gave her all the contact info for the center near our house. They need a whole bunch of paperwork that Dr. Dolan's office has to provide. I also got Jim approved for 60 visits through Aetna. Dr. Dolan thinks that will be more than enough. I told the pathologist...hey I don't waste any time. You told me he needs this therapy and I got him set up. She asked if I wanted a job there. But hell no...I couldn't be around all those sick people and people with throat cancer all day.

So Jim may be getting discharged tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then probably Friday. I'm going to keep him here through the weekend just to watch that nothing's oozing, bleeding, hurting, swelling, etc. Then we'll head home. He still can't speak well and can't get back on the helpline for awhile, plus he's got to do his therapy several days per week, so it will be awhile before you guys see him in the office, but he's anxious to get back to work doing something productive so he's going to be doing stuff for his department from the house while he goes through his therapy. He should have his Miele e-mail back in operation by Monday if all goes well. Besides...he can't go back to the office until he gets some new clothes. He has nothing to wear that fits him right now except sweats.

As for me, the psych office here is going to make sure I have someone to see near the house before I leave here, this way I can get my meds without having to call Massachusetts. I also got prescribed some beta blockers today to slow my heart rate down. I just need to carefully monitor myself that they don't make me depressed. If they do, I'll have to drop them and let my cardiologist in NJ come up with a gameplan. Of course, I can't get in to see him until May 8th.

So in the end I really didn't expect to take Jim home in this condition. I really thought I was going to be bringing him home somewhat closer to what he was before we left, but in the end I'm just glad he survived, so I have to be thankful for that. He had one hell of a ride, and there's more to go. Time and therapy should heal the rest. Had I not been on these bipolar meds I might have been a lot more freaked out and depressed about it. My mother even says I'm too calm now. She overheard one of my conversations with Jim's doctor while I was in the middle of answering two cells phones at once and said to me, "You're TOO calm!" But what else can you do?

On a funny note, we had to evacuate the hotel this evening because all the fire alams were going off. I grabbed my coat and my purse...I was debating grabbing my computer but it would have taken me awile to shut it down, and then I'm thinking it's probably a false alarm anyway...screw it...let me just get out of here. So I head down the stairs because you're not supposed to get on the elevators in case of fire and as I'm heaading down I'm smelling smoke, then I'm getting worried...is this REAL? Damn...maybe I should have grabbed my computer. There's fire trucks outside, the whole nine yards. Turns out some bonehead put their popcorn in the microwave too long and it burned. After 20 minutes or so they let us go back in.