Whew! Went to see Jim today and he looks soooooo much better. If you guys saw him now you'd still say, "Man, you look like shit!" but he's a lot better-looking than he was. He was sitting up in his chair watching some alien junk on his TV. AND HE TOLD ME HE THINKS HE CAN SWALLOW A LITTLE BIT!!!!!!! He's also a little easier to understand when he tries to talk, so I got his Mom on the cell phone and he growled a couple of words at her and that made her so happy. She was crying on the phone.
Anyway, when I got there I saw he had written a page-long note, so I told him I'm going to post it on this blog. Here it is:
"The last thing I remember is going into the operating room. Nothing else. Apparently I don't remember anything for two whole days. Last night was a type of hell. The stuff in my lungs was bothering me a lot, and mostly I think because it's still hard to swallow. Two younger doctors came in to see me this morning and told me I am going for a swallow study on Monday. This will determine how long I'm here for. If the swallow-study goes good, then 3-5 days. They want to make sure I can walk and talk and eat on my own. This damn incision in my neck is probably the worst of it. It hurts, more annoying really- they give me pain meds for it every two hours so at least they know it freakin' hurts. The people are very nice, and everyone is very helpful.
Today, after I woke up, I got washed-up and was able to brush my teeth and clean up. That felt good. I miss my wife and Jimmy-Jam so much! That's what hurts so much. Not being able to see them is hurting. Anyway, Pam tells me the tumor was completely removed, so I think I just have to shut up and put up with whatever I need to do. I just hope I can get out of here soon. I'm starting to go nuts. I can't wait to go back home and lay in my own bed and hug my wife. I want that more than anything I can think of.
I keep testing my swallowing, and I think it's coming back- not perfect by any means, but I can feel it. I think this is the most important thing I need to accomplish. Everything else stems off of swallowing."
Well, I've got to do some work for Miele now. One of us needs a job. And commerce must go on. Hell, if Miele doesn't make any money who the hell is going to pay for my health insurance?
But one more thing before I go. I've noticed I'm starting to get to be one of those preachy people now...you know the kind that you like to tell to shut up all the time? But I have to say this: Eating and drinking is such an important part of life. Family gatherings center around it, holidays center around it, hell....it's probably all you think about when you haven't had any breakfast and it's 11:00 and you're wondering what you're going to get for lunch. Please, please, please people.....ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT because the day may come when you can't do it anymore, and you take such a simple act for granted. We still don't know for sure if Jim will ever get this full ability back....I'm hopeful, but he's not out of the woods yet. So tonight, everyone, I want you to do something for me. Go out and get a pint of ice cream, and a BIG spoon, and eat the whole damn thing. Make sure you savor every single bite! Screw the diet! They make pants in bigger sizes. And o.k.- for those of you who are lactose intolerant, pick something else. It's not going to be worth the gas attack. Do it for Jim. Do it for me. And while you're enjoying every bite send a prayer up to God, Allah, Krishna, Mother Earth, or whoever it is you have faith in and thank them for giving you the ability to do it.
And I suppose everyone's wondering about Jimmy, too. Does he miss us? Sure. He spends all day telling Grandma how she's doing everything wrong because that's not the way that Mommy does it, and why doesn't she make grilled cheese like Mommy makes it, and my Mommy makes the best meatballs, Grandma, and that's not how my Mommy puts the dishes in the dishwasher, etc., etc., etc. Then every now and then he says he misses his Daddy, but then Grandpa takes him to Target and buys him something and that whole "I miss Daddy" thing goes right out the window. One good thing about being almost six...you have a very short attention span. This is your brain......"I miss Daddy....oh- I like this episode of Spongebob....I want some fruit snacks....can we have ice cream for dinner....I miss Mommy....buy me that tank Grandpa!...let's go to a movie....I really like Happy Feet....can I watch tv in bed Grandma?....do I really have to go to school?....Daddy and Mommy WHO?" When Jim's parents came over the day we left we barely got a goodbye. It was more like, when are the two of you going to get the hell out of here so I can exploit Grandma and Grandpa? In this whole week I think I got three words out of the kid on the phone. So I'm sure we miss him a whole lot more than he misses us. He'll need to be deprogrammed when we get back.
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